Mistakes and Returns | Chapter 12

Adrian sat down, hands over his eyes. He tried to stop the tears that had slightly wet his hand. He loved his father, but had always heard people criticize him for being too kind. Adrian had at first tried to follow his father’s example, but had stopped, for fear of being ostracized as his father had been. But why did he care? Adrian felt a migraine coming on. He had no idea what to think or do. But he wanted someone with him. “Guard,” Adrian called out. “Get…” He thought of the people he could get to come to him. Kaila was a good choice in some ways… but she had shown him that she wasn’t afraid of him, and that she had figured him out in many ways. He just… couldn’t talk to Lucida, not right now. Maybe not her. Aviana was definitely a no. Donnelly would be sure to assassinate him if he invited her to his room. Izara would only smile and tell him to keep hope… but that’s not what he needed right now. “Eliana. Bring her to me.”
~ ~ ~
Bardo picked up another stack of wood, his arms full. Sethe ran up to him, taking an armload. “Let me help.”
Bardo smiled. “Thanks,” As he watched her try to balance the large amount of logs she picked up.
“Do you need me to help?” He asked.
“No!” She looked at him and smiled. They continued walking in silence.
Bardo looked at Sethe.
“…maybe just a little bit.” She smiled.
“Wow, I thought you didn’t accept help or advice.” Bardo teased.
Sethe looked down as she handed Bardo a few logs. “…actually, I want to talk to you about that.”
Bardo just looked at her.
“I… I did something very foolish. For some reason, I let my pride get to me, and I thought I knew better than trained and experienced sailors… and you, the captain. I disobeyed you. Not only could I have died… but… I…” Sethe’s eyes began watering up, and her vision wouldn’t allow her to see the rock in front of her. She tripped, and all the logs were thrown. Bardo immediately put down the logs and put out his arms to help her. Instead of grabbing them, Sethe hugged Bardo. “I, I KILLED A SAILOR BECAUSE OF MY FOOLISH M-MISTAKE!” Sethe then proceeded to cry in Bardo’s chest with Bardo unsure of what to do. Steering a boat from a dangerous storm seemed easier than dealing with a teenage girl emotions.
Bardo lightly put his arms around Sethe. He thought about Zeno, and began lightly tearing up. While Bardo always was more of the boss to all the sailors, as the captain, he had learned to love each of the sailors. Zeno was no exception. However, what hurt more was that it was hard to notice Zeno was gone. Bardo thought about all the other sailors who were under him. Maybe he needed to develop more of a relationship with each of them, to get to know them better than he did. To never regret not spending quality time with his men if they ever died. Zeno. Who was he? Who was his family? Did he have a wife and children? Why had he decided to become a sailor?
“Bardo?” Sethe asked. Both were kneeling down on the ground, arms wrapped around each other. Sethe soon became aware of this fact and embarrassed, let go. Bardo also let go of Sethe.
“I’m sorry I got so emotional…” Sethe said, wiping her nose with her sleeve.
“Thank you for apologizing, but…” But what? What did he want to tell Sethe? This was all so unexpected. He didn’t even know what he felt yet.
“…I see that you have a lot of ways you need to grow in, but I think that someday you could become someone good at sailing… umm,”
Bardo looked at Sethe in confusion. That wasn’t what I wanted to say. Why would I tell her that right now?
Sethe looked down. “Bardo, do you forgive me?” Her watery brown eyes looked up at him.
Bardo smiled. “Of course. You’re not a bad person, in fact, you’re one of the only women I can actually stand.”
Sethe frowned, then got even more embarrassed. “Uh, do you have a wife?” Oh no… did I just hug a married man? Why didn’t I think about that?
Bardo looked confused, then laughed. “No… but since when were we talking about that?”
Sethe wished all at once that she could take back that last comment. “I, just… was wondering! You know, wondering how a captain would take time out of his life to have a wife, I suppose.”
Bardo shrugged. “I suppose that’s why I never got married. I could never settle down on land and clean dirty baby butts.”
Sethe smirked, then looked down. “I just feel like I shouldn’t have the right to be happy after doing something so bad…”
Bardo touched Sethe’s shoulder. “Not sure if this will help, but I used to feel very overwhelmed with situations when I was just starting out being a captain. Obviously, by that time I had a lot of experience with the ocean, with the boats, and such, but dealing with fights and just other… uncooperative people was something completely different. Well, I suppose I just try to look forward. Learn from your mistakes, but don’t constantly beat yourself up over them. You believe in a god, right? Offer sacrifices or what not to him for pardon.”
“Do you believe in God?”
Bardo looked up at the sky. “Wow, we’re getting a lot of personal questions in aren’t we?”
Sethe smiled. “I want to know who you are.”
Bardo looked at Sethe’s smile. She looked so pure. Something he hadn’t seen a lot with the people he knew. However, her eyes and nose were still very red. She looked like a little child. “Well, I suppose I don’t really think anything of the gods. I don’t really know what you mean by “god”, aren’t there many?”
Sethe smiled. “I could teach you what I believe in, but maybe we should bring these logs to the campsite for now.”
Bardo smiled. “Alright.”
Sethe stopped picking up the logs she had dropped for a moment. “Bardo, I want to thank you so much. I feel like you understand me so well… here I thought a captain would be harsh and rude, but you are one of the nicest people I’ve met.”
Bardo was a little shocked, but simply smiled. “Well, I don’t meet many people like you either… I’ve never really had a deep conversation with anyone besides you.”
Sethe smiled, picking up the last log. They walked back in silence, but it wasn’t so much awkward silence as just, respectful silence.
~ ~ ~

Kaila woke up, and thought about something. The hairbrush… that Adrian gave me, where is it? There had been so much going on that she had forgotten it. She looked underneath her creaky bed, and saw it. She reached to get it. It was now dusty, but she quickly wiped it off. She stared at it more. Wow, I had forgotten about this for a long time… but it has such a good use! My hair won’t be so tangle-y anymore! Kaila gleefully began brushing her curly hair. Callidora’s hairbrush was ok, but it was a very nice brush and Callidora would never let Kaila just take it when needed. Kaila’s hair looked nice in the mirror as Kaila smiled. She loved the hairbrush. Beautiful and practical.
` ` ` ` ` ` `
Hi guys…
been a while…
Hope you enjoyed! This chapter is a bit confusing… read in between the lines a bit 😉

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Mistakes and Returns | Chapter 12

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