Dance Revolution. Three days of worshiping with fellow dancers. Yeah, it was six hours of dancing for two days with only a one-hour lunch break, and they threw the choreography at you, and it was sink or swim, but still! It was so fun. Some girls from my dance studio were going, including Crystal and our mutual friend, Pearl.

On Friday night, everyone went to the dance party. The fun thing about Dance Rev is that, while not strictly SDA, every single bit of it is Christian.

Crystal and Pearl showed up for the Stand Out Tour with purple wigs, purple T-shirts, purple heart-shaped sunglasses, purple tutus, basically purple everything. On Sabbath, we had classes and my favorite: the Saturday Night Worship Experience. I thought it ironic that the most spiritually impactful thing of the weekend happened on my worship day while the designated “church service” was on Sunday.

After the worship experience, we went back to our hotel and took showers. Christena and I were sweaty from dancing six hours that day, but we wanted to see our dance studio perform the Advanced Modern dance at the showcase that night. In simple terms, we had to hustle.

However, we didn’t know how long the showcase was, so we got there way before we needed to. We got there before the intermission, and our dance was the 40th! We sat by my old pom teacher (old, because I no longer did pom) as the next dance came on.

I laughed with my sister as the first familiar notes of Pharaoh rang out. They were dancing to my class’ song! I leaned forward in my seat, a mischievous smile spreading across my face. I wanted to see how they did it compared to us.

It was interesting how they did it. At the end, they all held staffs and looked at the audience on the last “Go!” I couldn’t help thinking of the staff that I was to wield at our dance recital in May.

Then, when the lights came on, I saw Crystal’s and Pearl’s moms sitting just a few rows ahead of us. I went up to them at the urging of my sister.

“Hey,” I smiled with a wave. “Where are Crystal and Pearl?”

“They’re off looking for you, actually,” Pearl’s mom laughed.

Intermission was over before they found me. But that didn’t matter. We spoke through the next few dances. There was a part of me that wished we hadn’t.

“Kenni,” Crystal said excitedly, “did you see that last dance?”

“Yeah,” I replied with a smile.

“They were dancing to our song!” Crystal and I exclaimed at the same time. We both laughed.

“Well, did you see how they all had staffs at the end?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah,” I said, not really sure what she was getting at.

“Well,” Crystal said, smiling like she wasn’t just about to throw me into a fierce and tumultuous internal ocean, “do you want to help me convince Miss Daina that we should all have staffs?”

Oh, the millions of things whirling through my head as I tried to net the right response! I saw it now. I saw what the prospect of a solo had done to me. I coveted the solo. I wanted that solo. And if everyone had staffs—if everyone had a moment to shine and to feel like a great dancer—I wasn’t going to get that solo. You could not have imagined half of the excuses whirling through my head. Anything to say no. Crystal looked at me expectantly, but I thought she would’ve seen the crashing waves swirling in my blue eyes or at least noticed the expression of dismay and turmoil that must’ve stayed on my face for a full ten seconds while I grappled with myself.

The Christian thing to do? Say yes. The human thing to do? Say no.

“Sure,” I said with the most forced smile in the history of humankind.

I made sure the subject was closed. When my mom later asked me why I had said sure, I replied that one, I thought of myself as a good Christian, and it felt like the Christian response and two, any other response or excuse, no matter how logical an explanation for getting out of it it seemed, would’ve been prompted by selfishness.

But now, covetousness and envy and selfishness set aside, I had a different problem to deal with. Crystal couldn’t make it to dance the week after Dance Rev, so I was alone. I didn’t want to try and persuade Miss Daina without her, so I didn’t.

Miss Daina started planning my solo and telling us about where she had to get me in front of the entire class. She was moving lines around so I could do this solo! So now I was stuck between being loyal to my friend and expressing gratitude to my teacher.

I did what any logical 12-year-old girl would do: talk to their dad.

“Have you gotten to the end yet?” he asked.

“No,” I scoffed, “not even close!”

“Well,” he suggested, “you should maybe make a compromise. You could ask Crystal if she thinks that a bit of a ‘grand finale’ would work where you could all have staffs near the end. That way you can have your solo, and everyone else can still be included.”

People, this is why we have parents. I liked his idea, so I texted it to Crystal. She agreed after I explained my loyalty vs. gratitude dilemma, and we approached Miss Daina after class the next Tuesday. Crystal had me propose the idea, but I had never seen her that persistent in her life! I had pitched the idea to Miss Daina but then, having done my duty, let Crystal do the rest. She went in. Miss Daina began giving elusive answers, and I didn’t know what was going to happen.