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TOPIC: Awkward and Anti-social

Awkward and Anti-social 3 years 5 months ago #40176

Okay, so I'm really awkward around people. It's because I'm very insecure and I always feel like people are judging me, and no matter how many times I tell myself that they're not judging me, I still worry about it. This is usually when I'm meeting new people, or participating in an event that doesn't include people I know.

I can also be very cynical and dark, and I usually have a sarcastic outlook on things whenever I have to go and socialize with people. I make a bunch of sarcastic "responses" in my head to what people are saying, and ignore people when they try to approach me. This is usually when I'm around people I already know.

So...what should I do? I know that I feel awkward around strangers because I'm insecure, and I know that I'm mentally rude to people I know because I'm being defensive--which is also because I'm insecure.

So what I really need help with is losing my insecurities, or else I won't be able to make new friends--or keep the friends I already have.

I'm already praying about it, but what else should I do? I need some new ideas, because the usual "just relax and be comfortable with who you are!" hasn't worked so far. Thanks so much!
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."--1 Timothy 4:12
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Awkward and Anti-social 3 years 4 months ago #40850

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Something that really helped me when I was going through my awkward stages was... well, honestly, my relationship with Jesus. Once I realized just how amazing he is, and how awful we all are, I understood that the people I saw, and compared myself with, are all people who God loves and has blessed with different things. He has blessed me with certain qualities as well.

An important aspect is to have faith that he will give you strength, health, and self-confidence. Praying for these things is very important. When you pray for them, you can ask him to lend you them from the Holy Spirit. It goes both ways, really. If you have confidence in the Lord, you will surely have confidence in yourself. Because when we choose to follow the Lord completely, well, we are no longer going by our flawed and erroneous ways. We follow is way, with is the best of all.

Here's a few things to consider:
Ever seen a person and immediately thought they looked bad (maybe they looked really sad and disheveled)? Well, that person probably was feeling like that inside too.

I find that what we feel ourselves to be in our heart, is what we become on the outside...

Most people are thinking about their own insecurities, not everyone else's.

So when you see a new person - child, adult, elder - just remember: they are just like you... no better, no worse, even if they may act one or the other. This includes the people you already know. It included all humans, really.

Oh, and here are some good things that generally boost your confidence:
  • Exercising (regularly)
  • Taking care of yourself (if you are not healthy, how will you feel good about yourself?)
  • Praying and reading the bible (this is one of the best - but they need to go hand in hand! not just one or the other)

The mirror exercise is great too. Just list all the things you see that you like - even the tiniest. then list all the things you feel God has made you good at - it could be anything. sports, art, cleaning, listening, good observational skills, anything at all.

The key to true self-confidence is Jesus. He gives me everything I need. When he's living in me, I'm confident because I trust in him - not in myself.

Not to say that everything will change in just a day... it is an ongoing process, and it must be repeated daily, by praying to God in the morning to help you through your day, and reading some of his Word. Even if it's just a verse.
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Awkward and Anti-social 3 years 4 months ago #40883

Going4God wrote:
Trust me... If you've been on tumblr, you'd see that practically everyone on it is 'awkward and antisocial' :lol: (I'm not on it, I just see posts on the internet).
I would say to try to be optimistic and make yourself think positive thoughts so that it becomes a good habit for you.
When I feel insecure, I just go to the mirror and fix myself up so I feel better about myself and give myself a little 'pep talk' (don't judge :kiss: )
I also found that when I do something dumb or embarrassing, it helps me relax when I think of all those characters in books who have all their embarrassing moments exposed. It's reminds me that it happens to everyone and that it's normal. ;)
Instead of ignoring strangers, smile at them. It can make a day for some of them, and making them happy should make you happy, thus improving your outlook on life. Also, if you smile at them, they'll portrait you as a nice person who'll be fun to hang out with.

Give it a try! I'll pray for you :)

Haha, ya, I'm on tumblr and I have seen that most people are really awkward. That sometimes helps me feel better--it tells me that I'm not alone.

But I'm going to try the pep talk! And, like RJ said, I'm going to strengthen my relationship with God :)
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."--1 Timothy 4:12
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Awkward and Anti-social 3 years 4 months ago #40904

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A friend of mine once said "I don't feel uncomfortable around individuals, I feel uncomfortable around groups." If that's how you feel a lot of times start small. There's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with someone and gradually talking to more and more people. One thing that may help is to remember all of us are going through that internal insecurity. (this is coming from a very socially confident person) We just handle it differently. One quote that may help you is "every stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.

All in all the most important thing to remember is God made you in his image, and he doesn't make mistakes so you really have nothing to worry about. God made you special and he cares about you very much so don't let anything those people might say discourage you :)
In God I trust, in him all things are possible, from him comes my strength, my life, my health. I will praise him for he is good. Praise God forever and ever, amen.
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Awkward and Anti-social 2 years 5 months ago #49300

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I sort of have the same problem. I'm getting over it though. I volunteered at my local hospital, (oh, I want to tell you all what one so bad, but then you'd know where I live....) and my supervisors and fellow volunteers were so welcoming and patient with me. They taught me how to do stuff, then had enough faith in me to let me do it on my own. If I made a mistake, they all laughed with me at it. They helped me to build my confidence. Now, sometimes I feel like I can take on the world! I guess I just needed people to trust me and be my friends.

Sorry, that didn't have much to do with the topic....
... Even if it gets me convicted
I’ll still be on my knees with my hands lifted ...
... If saying I believe is out of line
If I’m judged cause I’m gonna give my life
To show the world the love that fills me
Then I want to be Guilty ...
- Guilty by Newsboys
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Awkward and Anti-social 2 years 4 months ago #50179

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That Girl In The Corner,
just remember that you are supported. Matthew 7:7-11 says, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" I think that this is a beautiful reminder that, if we ask for good things, God will give them to us, and if He's sinless, and we're sinful, He'll DEFINITELY want to give us the good things we ask for! So have hope. And believe. Have faith that things will get better, and they WILL get better. Have a nice day :)
I'll pray!

Poptropica: M.Kat
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Awkward and Anti-social 2 years 4 months ago #50259

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This is how I am too, especially with the insecurity thing. I'm pretty good at talking to people I know but I still wonder if they're judging me in their heads.
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Awkward and Anti-social 1 year 10 months ago #55840

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I think you should pretend they were your best friend and act like your talking with them normally or something
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