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TOPIC: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long.

Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17275

Thanks Godsadvicegiver11!! You people here on Guide are so awesome!!! I wish I could hug all of you. :) I was talking to Cat yesterday. When I used to talk to her, I used to feel happy after I got off the phone with her. Now, I'm just looking for excuses to get off the phone with her. She's always trying to make me jealous by talking only of her horse and what she does with Natali. Sometimes I do feel jealous, and I'm kinda worried that when I come back to NB, Cat and Natali will only want to hang out with each other. I know that probably won't happen, but Cat has tried to separate Natali and me many times before. The last time I was here in Florida, it was a blast. This time, it's a nightmare. I'm just waiting for my grandfather to die. My brother did something really awful to me the other day and it ruined me. I've lost my appetite, and I'm not getting a lot of sleep. And on top of that, I have Cat to deal with. The only thing I can do is pray to God. I have no friends down here whatsoever. The kids at the church that I'm going to make me feel completely unwanted. They ignore me and act like I'm not even there. I only have Natali and God to turn to, and I feel really lonely.
Emily
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17365

  • DaughterOfGod13
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Wow... must be hard. Both my grandpa's have died, one while I was 3,000 miles away. But just trust God. I don't have all the answers. But God can see your entire life, and you can't. God is allowing this to happen, so that His perfect plan will work out! Trust God. Here's a song I wrote: (Just now on Guide :P)

Trust Him
I gaze up past the stars
I wonder why I'm facing this
Wishing I were a bird
that I could fly beyond my troubles,
Wanting to know why God led me here
Wanting to trust God,
but not knowing how

And God said,
Lean on Me!
When you're just to weary, I'll carry you,
when you see no hope in tomorrow,
I'll carry you,
I'll hold your hand
I'll help you stand!

And when you see nothing but darkness,
When the road seems long a forbidden,
When all your friends disappear
And you just want to give up.

Then God said,
If you could see the end from the beginning,
you would choose no other way,
I'm not the one causing your troubles,
I'm allowing them,
so you can see my perfect plan!

It isn't for no reason that you're watching him die,
it isn't for no reason that your closest friends betrayed you!
It's just God's plan,
His perfect plan,
in the making.

And when God saw the world so helpless,
He sent His most perfect treasure and gift!
For He saw past today,
He saw you right now,
and with tears in His eyes,
He allowed His Son to die,
He allowed His Son to die... for you.

Perfect love,
Perfect plan,
it saw past today,
and saw in the future
when all the pieces fit together.
Trust Him.


:') I know, it's hard. I haven't faced what you're facing, but there's a perfect reason God's allowing it. Sometimes it's hard to believe that anything good could come out of it, but there is something that will. Praying for you!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding!
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17386

  • Godsadvicegiver12
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That is an awesome song, DaughterofGod12!!! You sure are good at writing!!! I wrote a song, also, about trusting in God. I'll post it when I find it... It isn't on this computer, and the only copy I have of it is in my songbook and maybe one other copy... I actually have a songbok where I put all of my songs so that I can keep track of them. That's an awesome song though, really!!!!
You don't have to be Goliath to succeed, Little Davids can succeed, too :)
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17395

  • DaughterOfGod13
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All glory to God :) I've written around 30 songs
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding!
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17419

  • Godsadvicegiver12
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Awesome, DaughterofGod12! Here is one that I wrote about trust. All the glory to God! He is my inspiration! (haha, I have a song called "You are my Inspiration!")

Verse 1:
When hard times come
When I have to face trials and temptations
When the road gets bumpy
And I don't know what to do

Chorus:
I just need to trust in You Lord
Because I know You'll carry me through
Because I know that You love me
You came and died for me
You're preparing a place for me
I just need to trust in You Lord

Verse 2:
I know I'll have to ace hard times
But I will keep my trust in You Lord
I just need o trust in You Lord
'Cause You can be trusted
And You are my friend

Chorus:
I just need to trust in You Lord
Because I know You'll carry me through
Because I know that You love me
You came and died for me
You're preparing a place for me in Heaven
I just need to trust in You Lord
You don't have to be Goliath to succeed, Little Davids can succeed, too :)
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17420

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@SDAhorseGirl, I am sorry to hear that you aren't doing to well. I will pray for your family, especially you though! Have you been able to talk to Natali? And keep your trust in God!!!!!!!!
You don't have to be Goliath to succeed, Little Davids can succeed, too :)
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17425

Yeah, I'm able to call Natali. I call her about once or twice a week. Cat calls every Sabbath, but I always get stressed out whenever she calls. Lately, I get a sore back and neck (for some reason unbeknownst to me) and I start to get a headache whenever I talk to her.
Emily
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 11 months ago #17428

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The sore back and neck may be from stress, same with the headache. Again, I will pray for you!
You don't have to be Goliath to succeed, Little Davids can succeed, too :)
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17465

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i don't feel bad to call her a bully i kinda feel your pain i had this best friend well almost because he lived two minutes walk from my house anyway he was a bad influence he listened to heavy metal screamer rock
which wasn't so bad cause he didn't make me listen to it but he dared me to do wrong things once or twice he was a good friend although he was 3 and a half years older then me he played very violent video games sometimes i did get literally hurt but he wasn't a very good christian and now i'm glad we aren't friends anymore because now he is into drugs he got sent away once so it's probably a good thing that your not so close anymore
I AM ..................AWESOME
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17470

  • Foxy101
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I know exactly what you must be going through. I moved from the house I grew up in for fifteen years just in October. Now we're in a rental while we try to find the right house for us. Just before we moved, we found out that my Granddad had terminal cancer. Mom was down there for most of four months. My sister was at academy for the first time ever. And my Dad was at work most of the day. So! I was in a new house, no friends, nobody around, and trying to do my homeschool while my Granddad slowly died. :/ Not fun. But hang in there! God is definitely there for you. My relationship with God has strengthened incredibly. Yours will too. Just give all of this to Him and let Him do the dirty work. :) And talking to your parents would definitely help. You sound a little trapped.
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17512

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You know what, Isabelle (is that your name? I'm gonna check)?
I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! I had this "friend" named (let's call her) Bossy R who was always bossing me around at camp, then when we went home calling me every day. Finally, I told her I was tired of this friendship that only she was benefiting from. She got really mad, and didn't talk to me (and I ignored her- she had NO RIGHT TO BE MAD AT ME!!!) for… 1 whole year (although she lives/lived in a different province- I'm Canadian :P ).

Finally, this summer, I invited her over. Well, to be EXACT, she apologized at camp, I forgave her, and we slowly started up again. Raquel isn't a mean girl, but neither is Cat… deep down.

Okay, so I invited Bossy R over to my house and we were having a great time playing on the trampoline.
We were planning to do a routine for our parents later on. She didn't know how to do a bum-drop, so I showed her.
"I know I haven't done it and all, but that stunk. Do a better one."
I IGNORED HER and kept on going like nothing happened, changing the subject.
She didn't go back to that anymore. Thing is, she's an only child because her mother had a miscarriage, and her parents are divorced. Possibly she was jealous of my life (I've got a younger bro her age) or wanted to control someones life, if not her own.

Maybe something happened to Cat or her family, maybe not, I don't know. I'd say talk to her about it. I know it sounds stupid , hard, and cliche, but in the end, it really will reveal who she is and who you are.

Need help? Start: Cat, I liked being your friend in the past. But then you started treating me different. I want to let you know that I don't want to embarrass you, but I wanted to ask what happened. I'll be honest with you if you'll be honest with me.

She will either:

CAT: STOP IT! I don't think you really care! (stomps away)

or

CAT: Okay, so the truth is…. (tells you what happened)

You'll want to bring it up in private or on the phone (when she calls you again, maybe)

Sorry, this has been very long! Happy Sabbath, may God be with you!
Psalm 73:28 ♡
Christ is Enough for Me
Colossians 3:15-17✝
Last Edit: 4 years 10 months ago by wwilliams.
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17515

  • Delightful
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Okay, so you know how you said Cat's trying to separate you and Nat?
Maybe she feels threatened (duh, she does) so maybe try to hang out with both at the same time! If that won't work, then maybe find some other nice girls you know at your church to hang out with. If Cat wants to join THAT group, then great! Include Natalie, too, and make sure everyone has equal friendship! Someone for SURE can keep Cat busy while you and Nat hang out.

Or even, tell Cat that sometimes you just want to hang with Nat.
But you STILL wanna be her friend. Even if you don't, then you should be able to..

Sorry to end quick, but I G2GHSS (G2G Have Sabbath Supper) God be with you! ;) :cheer: :)
I'll preay 4 ur Grampa! Both mine died, so I know how u feel…. :( :( :(
Psalm 73:28 ♡
Christ is Enough for Me
Colossians 3:15-17✝
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17566

  • legobro777
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I agree with godgirl7. Just ask her to maybe be nicer
and call you Emily instead of your fullname... :blink:
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17639

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I used to have a friend like that. He (I am a guy) used to be a really nice guy who was nice to hang out with. Later, he started hanging out with the wrong crowd and making fun of me. Him and I went to the same church and SDA church school, so it was hard to get away from him. However, he was the only other guy in the school (11 students) so I wanted to be his friend. We kind of got along, but not really. After that school shut down (not enough students to keep it going), we both went to a different school. He was much nicer then and we were friends for a while. Then towards the end of the school year, he started making fun of me again. Then I moved away, and started to miss his friendship (I had known him almost all of my life.). When I went back to that church again for a visit, I found out that it had only gotten worse.

He and I have gone through many friendship swings. I now realise that he only wanted to be my friend so that he could get something out of it (I was sort of popular). My advise is to KINDLY drop the friendship. It eventually gets worse and worse. Also, stay in good contact with Natali. Having other good friends made it easier to drop the friendship.

Hope this helps!!! B) :cheer: :lol: :woohoo:
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17652

I had a friend like that!!!
I suggest that you talk to her about how you feel. It really isn't that bad!!! I was afraid to do it at first, but i didn't really have a choice, so i just did it
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17795

@Delightful, actually, my first name is Emily and Isabelle is my middle name. :) Thanks everyone for your advice!!! It's been SO helpful. She used to call me constantly, but finally I just declined each call (she was calling a cell phone) and she slowly either got tired of never getting me, or she got the message that I didn't want to talk to her all the time. She now calls once a week, but even in those once-a-week calls I get annoyed with her. She doesn't seem to get how I feel. All she talks about is her stupid horse (I love that horse and I love riding him but I'm just so annoyed right now) and what she does with Natali. She's always trying to make me jealous with what she does and has, and she lies to me a lot. She says she's changed, but it beats me in what way she's changed. I don't see any difference. I want to quit being friends with her, but Cat, Nat, and myself are the only girls in the whole church unless you count a baby. So that's kid of out of the question. Besides, her mom would just make trouble for me and spread lies about me. Cat's family is SO HARD to deal with. Her whole family. Her brother has a crush on me and is so annoying, Cat is...well, you already know about her, and her parents offend everyone and then they get offended by everything. My mom and dad say to just ignore them, but I feel like I can't.
Emily
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17816

  • DaughterOfGod13
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This almost reminds me of life with my sister awhile ago... I was the type of kid (and still am) who LOVES getting peoples reactions. I don't know why, it's just me. But anyway, I would do all sorts of crazy stuff and she would react, so I'd keep doing it. I think that POSSIBLY might be what's going on here. Cat is insecure, she (may) feel left out, or ignored, and she (may) want attention. And she found someone who reacts. (Not putting you down, girl :) And so she continues as long as you continue giving her a reaction/getting angry. So my only other suggestion would be to, (I know you can't ignore her) not ignoring her, but not giving her a reaction. Ignore all those immature guys who try and flirt with you, or have crushes on you, cuz the time will come, and you'll be glad you waited. Trust me :) Anyway, God bless, praying for you, and keep us posted :)

~Kayti
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding!
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17821

  • Hadassa
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it sounds like Cat is a little jealous of YOU.

i think she is jealous of the fact that you are so nice and friendly, especially with Nat. maybe she is jealous of your family, too. sometimes people lash out from what they hear at home, or what happens at home. her family may be really stressful to her. :pinch:

i don't know this girl, or you, for that matter (although i go to a church near new brunswick :lol: ). but, try giving her the benefit of the doubt. when she calls, tell her that you are busy (if you are busy-don't lie) or "hey, we're going through a rough patch here. would you mind laying off the phone calls please?" if she doesn't get it, ask your mom if you can block her calls for a little so you guys can cool off. over all, i think you two need a little space from each other. that may help. :)
:D
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #17886

@DaughterOfGod12, usually I don't react to her. She didn't even know that I was getting annoyed with her until I finally snapped one day. I had been annoyed with her for a few months and she didn't even know it. Now she's much better, and I know she's trying to support me, but just how she says things and what she says still hurts me sometimes. Like just before I came down here to FL, Cat told me that she didn't even miss me that last time I was in FL. That stung. But I don't say anything, because I don't want to start a fight. Cat can get offended by the tiniest thing. If I smile at Nat and not Cat, Cat thinks I'm TRYING to ignore her when I'm really not. I try so hard to prevent fights, but they still happen. I'm so frustrated. >:(
Emily
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #18012

  • DaughterOfGod13
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Hm, well, sometimes the only thing you can do is pray. You've done what you can, and sometimes you just have to leave it all up to God to change her. But just try and treat Nat and Cat the same, and yeah, don't let Cat know ur angry at her... praying for you, girl!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding!
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #18788

Wowww...well there's one thing I can tell you---Cat is definately NOT a true friend. Hang out with your true friends until you have chilled (your temper) and the air is a little clearer between the two of you, then tell her you want a break (and don't say it meanly, just directly). I've been in a similar situation and all you need are two things: PRAYER and TIME
The problem should undo itself in a few months...but your not gonna get out of talking to her. You need to TALK to her...not ARGUE. Maybe you should send her a letter if you guys can't talk without fighting. But whatever you do, have courage!!! :) This isn't going to be easy...no one said life would be easy, but be patient. I'll be praying for you!! :)

P.S. Have you ever thought that maybe it's all a misunderstanding somehow? Or, like Bethany4God said, maybe she's jealous of you.
:)
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #19446

Hey guys :) OK so last week, I was really fed up with Cat, and I painted a vivid picture for her of what I was going through. I made up an example so it would be easier for Cat to understand, and when I was finished, she was crying really hard. She felt so upset and sorry of how she had acted and she was crying really hard. Now she's been more understanding. Which is good, cuz I need a lot of that. My grandfather is barely alive, and just ten minutes ago he was having a seizure, which really scared me. I thought he was going to die. Thankfully he didn't. Now, he's just getting worse and worse by the hour, and it's so hard to watch him die. I'm so scared.
Emily
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #19602

  • Hadassa
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it's okay!!! tell cat what you're going through, and tell nat too!!!
:D
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 10 months ago #19656

  • DaughterOfGod13
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Awesome =D

Wow... yeah it's hard watching your grandpa die... it's happened to me :') praying for you, girly!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding!
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Re: Help? I'm confused! WARNING: This will be long. Really long. 4 years 9 months ago #19767

  • Gogirl
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I'm going to keep on praying for you,Cat and your grandfather :cheer:
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