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TOPIC: Cheesy Jokes

Cheesy Jokes 3 years 5 months ago #38515

  • thehorsedidit
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post any cheesy jokes you know



Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road

A. Because he had a broken leg
that was a LAME joke


Kit-Knock knock
JO-Who's there
Kit-Boo
JO-Boo who
Kit-Don't cry it's not that bad
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Cheesy Jokes/Puns 3 years 4 months ago #39198

  • Blue Tornado
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I might not have many jokes, like knock-knock jokes or ones where we expect an answer, but I do know some cheezy jokez.

I was wondering why the ball was getting larger and larger...then it hit me.
I held the door open for a clown...I thought it was a pretty nice jester.
If you're looking for a girl who doesn't like Star Wars jokes...you're looking in Alderaan places.
I should name my new phone Titanic...then put it in sync.
"Near, far, wherever you are..." I like far better. -Grumpy Cat
Reese Witherspoon...Reese Withoutherspoon
Morgan Freeman...Morgan Slaveman
Tom Cruise...Tom Bus Ride
Sylvester Stallone...Sylvester Stogether
And now, the ringleader, a literally cheezy joke: A Mac computer likes to eat cheese. It's owners calls it Mac & Cheese.


"And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

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Cheesy Jokes 2 years 8 months ago #43799

  • jas
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: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed

Q: Why is there a gate around cemetaries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!

Q: Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta
Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match
Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it's pointless.

Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What do call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
A: Quattro Sinko
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite
Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
A: Remorse code.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two-tired!
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short cut.
Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
A: In the dictionary
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
A: a Vel-Crow
Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?
A: The dock
Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
A: Trouble
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog
Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A: Firecrackers!
Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!
Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
A: The Space bar!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: What runs but doesn't get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: "Smiles", because there is a mile between each 's'
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Q: Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!
Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I'll go on a head
Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You're too young to smoke!
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin' robins.
Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it's a little meteor
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He neverlands!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue with his pizza?
A: He ate it before it was cool!
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up!
Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
A: UCLA
Q: Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks?
A: Mini-soda
Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A: All of the fans left
Q: What did the duck say to the bartender?
A: Put it on my bill
Q: How does a squid go into battle?
A: Well Armed
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: Reality
Q: What did the Time Traveler do when he was still hungry after his last bite?
A: He went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A: A loose Canon.
Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
A: He takes things personally.
Q: Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas?
A: Clothes, but no cigar.
Q: What do you call the sound a dog makes when it's choking on a piece of its owner's jewelry?
A: A diamond in the ruff.
Q: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose?
A: Yoga pants.
Q: How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?
A: Bring her flours.
Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit?
A: Because it was cultured.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
A: Wait at a buzz stop!
Q: What did the fashion police officer say to his sweater?
A: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
A: A Cat-astrophe
Q: Why did the frog take the bus to work?
A: His car got toad.
Q: What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?
A: A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!
Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?
A: Mexi-cans
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison
Q: How do most frogs die?
A: They kermit suicide!
Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
A: They kept dropping their trunks.
Q: What's the most musical part of a chicken?
A: The drumstick
Jazzy101
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Cheesy Jokes 2 years 6 months ago #45170

  • QuazaWizard941
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goodness, where do you get all these jokes?
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Cheesy Jokes 2 years 6 months ago #45295

  • Skite
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Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand by itself?

A: It was two-tyred!
So let me sing for the love
Let me love for the lost
Let me lose all I have
For what I found on the cross
Let me trust you with my life
Let me live to give you praise
Lord, let me praise you
For the grace by which I'm saved
Lord, let me sing

- Chorus of "Let me sing" by Andrew Peterson
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Cheesy Jokes 2 years 6 months ago #45453

  • Blue Tornado
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Whoops Skite, didn't mean to Thank you for that! Lol


"And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

Animal Jam: Batsey9
Club Penguin: Bat Wen
Roblox: BlueTorn
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Cheesy Jokes 2 years 1 month ago #49589

  • Mp137
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QuazaWizard941 wrote:
goodness, where do you get all these jokes?

I'm guessing online or from a book
... Even if it gets me convicted
I’ll still be on my knees with my hands lifted ...
... If saying I believe is out of line
If I’m judged cause I’m gonna give my life
To show the world the love that fills me
Then I want to be Guilty ...
- Guilty by Newsboys
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Cheesy Jokes 11 months 2 weeks ago #62627

  • Peach1
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thehorsedidit wrote:
post any cheesy jokes you know



Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road

A. Because he had a broken leg
that was a LAME joke


Kit-Knock knock
JO-Who's there
Kit-Boo
JO-Boo who
Kit-Don't cry it's not that bad

My brother told me the last one. Quote "that was a LAME joke" lol.
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Cheesy Jokes 11 months 2 weeks ago #62628

  • Peach1
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Q: Why did the girl throw the butter out of the window?
A: Cuz she wanted to see butterfly.

Q: How come the pony couldn't sing?
A: Cuz it was a little hoarse.

Q: Why did they kids cross the road?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why couldn't the bug go in the men's bathroom?
A: Cuz it was a ladybug.
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Cheesy Jokes 11 months 2 weeks ago #63127

  • SirGeneralCliche
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I wanted to go to the cake shop, but it was desserted

What is the most musical computer? A Dell (Adel)

If you make too many corny puns that don't pop, you will shuck away your life until you are a mere husk of your former self, and any time you try to give a kernel of wisdom, it will be meaningless chowder. People will be cornfused when they stalk to you, and when you are an old cob, they will treat you with s-corn.

How many corn puns are in the above statement?
All rules have exceptions, including this one.
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